Parents do strange things sometimes.

My dad used to introduce me to people by my shoe size:

“I’d like you to meet my son.  He has a size 11 shoe.”

I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true.  Can you imagine what would have happened if I had internalized that fact as an impressive talking point?

I might have said something like, “That’s right.  You heard the man.  Size 11 is nothing to mess around with.  I expect to be treated with some respect around here.”

Obviously, that would have been ridiculous.  Shoe size has nothing to do with how good or interesting a person is.  It would be silly to suggest otherwise.  Of course, we laugh at that idea, but how many other criteria do we have for evaluating a person’s status that are just as ridiculous and arbitrary?

My favorite ridiculous commercial is the one where a guy…