One of the most memorable nights of my life came when I received a phone call from my sister, telling me she was pregnant.  She was young, unmarried, and not yet finished with school, so the news came with not a little trepidation.  Another relative called me later that night to talk about this news.  To say he was upset would be an understatement.

“She has ruined our perfect family!”  Is what he said.

I was taken aback.  Perfect?  What family was he living in?  Our family was about as far from perfect as one could be.  Poverty, unemployment, mental illness, domestic violence, drug addiction, and divorce were part of our lives.  While most of us had made it through the hard times and managed to do okay, any claim to perfection was just a boldfaced lie.

We weren’t perfect and she didn’t “ruin” us.  Sure, things had certainly not…