Parenting in Real Life

This guy is speaking my language…

By Steve Wiens

Reblogged from Huffington Post:

There are people who say this to me:

“You should enjoy every moment now! They grow up so fast!”

I usually smile and give some sort of guffaw, but inside, I secretly want to hold them under water. Just for a minute or so. Just until they panic a little.

If you have friends with small children — especially if your children are now teenagers or if they’re grown — please vow to me right now that you will never say this to them. Not because it’s not true, but because it really, really doesn’t help.

We know it’s true that they grow up too fast. But feeling like I have to enjoy every moment doesn’t feel like a gift, it feels like one more thing that is impossible to do, and right now, that list is way too long. Not every moment is enjoyable as a parent; it wasn’t for you, and it isn’t for me. You just have obviously forgotten. I can forgive you for that. But if you tell me to enjoy every moment one more time, I will need to break up with you.

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Ten Things I Want to Tell Parents

Sorry to crowd the blogosphere this morning, but I came across this article and it was too good to pass by.  This is for all religiously and/or spiritually inclined parents out there (of any ideological stripe).  Solid, concise, and clear.  Originally written by Rev. Rebecca Kirkpatrick.

Reblogged from Bread Not Stones:

When I started this blog about a year ago, I planned to focus on sharing my insights into how parents can and should provide religious nurture for their children. As I have reflected on this past year, I thought it would be helpful to briefly lay out in one post some of the most important things that I have learned as a pastor and a parent who works with families.

Almost all of what I have written relates to one of these ten things that I think parents should know. Once we delve into the details and particulars of different parts of scripture or faith, sometimes these essentials can get lost in the shuffle.

So below are the ten most important things that I want to tell parents (even parents in my own congregation) as they work to strengthen the spiritual lives of their children.

Link to ‘Notes From a Dragon Mom’

This NY Times article came my way through Facebook and… well, you’ll just have to read it.

This woman’s hard-won wisdom and insight reminds me of Lao-Tzu, Krishna, and Jesus.  I cite these sacred texts below, but I make no claim to have obtained the wisdom.

Notes From a Dragon Mom

Emily and Ronan Rapp

“Therefore the sage produces without possessing, Acts without expectations And accomplishes without abiding in her accomplishments.  It is precisely because she does not abide in them That they never leave her.” – Tao Te Ching

“Therefore without attachment, do thou always perform action which should be done; for by performing action without attachment man reaches the Supreme.” – Bhagavad Gita

“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own.  Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:34

Tina Fey: Prayer for a Daughter

OK, this has absolutely nothing to do with ministry on the street or marginal theology, but it has to do with Tina Fey and spirituality, so it is therefore blog-worthy.  I’m the father of a daughter, so I can relate to much of this.  This passage is originally from Tina’s new book, Bossypants, but I nabbed it from

Prayer for a Daughter

Tina Fey

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.