This is the best, most hilarious thing I’ve seen all week. And it’s totally true. I hope this video goes viral. Subscribe to Friend Dog Studios. Share with your friends.
Every clergyperson has weeks like this sometimes.
[Just for the record, I am not having that kind of week. In fact, just last night I was telling the elders of North Presbyterian Church how proud I am of them and how thankful I am to be their pastor. That being said, enjoy the video and have a laugh.]
Approximately 1 out of every 4 Christians will encounter adult onset Calvinism (commonly known as AOC) during their life, either personally or in someone close to them. It can be a scary thing to encounter, especially if you’re not familiar with the symptoms. The person you once knew and loved is suddenly a completely different person.
It gets better.
To help you navigate the treacherous waters of AOC, I’ve listed the possible symptoms you may encounter.
Loved this. Can’t believe it’s actually from Cracked…
Naturally, Dietrich Bonhoeffer comes in at #1…
The downside of being a man of God in a military setting is that there really is a cap on how much ass-kicking you can do. Sure, a priest can give last rights and counsel the troubled while the battle rages in the background, but it’s not the sort of thing they make video games about.
But maybe they should, damn it. Especially when history is full of stories like …
I have never plugged another blog so vehemently as I am now plugging this one.
My wife and I were up until 1:30 in morning, rolling in laughter at this blog because IT’S ALL TRUE!!!
The author is not forthcoming with personal identity details, but that’s the blogger’s prerogative. The experiences chronicled and parodied here are almost universal among mainline clergy. I’m actually a little scared that if my parishioners found this blog, they would be able to read my mind.
Please check this out, especially if you happen to be the clergy type.
Start your Monday by singing along with Marcy Matasick. I came across this little ditty through the Christian Left group on Facebook. It’s set to the old Sunday School hymn, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”. And it’s not a bad bit of gentle fingerpicking, I might add. Enjoy!
Idea No. 1: During the Sunday morning message, listen closely and take notes. Look your minister straight in the eye, and occasionally nod your head and say, “Amen!” Begin to make serious efforts to apply the life lessons you learn from the sermons. In six months, she’ll preach herself to death.
Idea No. 2: Pat your minister on the back and brag on her good points two or three times a month. Make a bunch of phone calls to your friends and neighbors and tell them all the good things about your minister. In a little while, so many more people will start coming to your church, you’ll have to hire an associate minister, and your senior minister will be free to leave.
Idea No. 3: Next Sunday, in response to the sermon, dedicate yourself to something you believe in. Then make an appointment with your minister sometime next week. Ask her to give you some job you could do for the church. She’ll likely die of heart failure on the spot.
Idea No. 4: Get a whole bunch of the church members to unite in earnest prayer for your minister, her ministry and her family. Organize prayer meetings in which you pray for the growth of the church and the blessing of the community. Your minister may become so effective in ministry that some larger church will gladly take her off your hands.
One note of caution, however: if you try one of these methods, you may find that you don’t want to get rid of your minister after all.